She Who Shall Rise Again
by blueberrypie87
Summary: They had gone full circle now and were back to playing their old roles, living their old lives." Blair's thoughts after 2x04 The Ex Files.


**A/N: I felt so bad for Blair at the end of 2x04 and ended up writing this. This is my first story for the site. Reviews are appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

Blair Waldorf couldn't remember when she first realized that Serena van der Woodsen always came first, and she wouldn't dare admit to your face that she knew it was true. She chose to be blissfully ignorant of that distinct fact, refusing to accept it. There had been several instances leading up to the inevitable conclusion that Blair was destined to be Serena's shadow, but of course, Blair had regressed those events into the back of her mind, considering them stories with the unchanging moral that she had to change herself to become better. To become a more refined version of Serena herself.

_"You'll never be Serena, you know." Chuck told her that once at a party in ninth grade. He was drunk at the time, but that didn't make it any less true and it didn't make it any less painful._

_"I know that." She had snapped back as she watched Serena and Nate chase each other with water guns across the Archibald's lamp lit garden._

_"And you're okay with that?" Chuck asked with glassy eyes, scrutinizing her and assessing her disposition._

_"It doesn't matter because I don't care." She was such a liar. She lied that day to Chuck just like she lied to herself each and every day._

Before Serena left, Blair was nothing but a follower. As much as Serena saw them both as queen bees, it would never be that way. Blair would steadily fall back behind Serena, where she naturally belonged and things would remain that way for what seemed like eternity to Blair. For the longest time she never thought she'd know what it would be like to be Serena, but then _it _happened.

Serena mysteriously left for Connecticut, her name eventually leaving people's lips. This became her chance. All of a sudden _Blair_ was the prettiest, the thinnest, and the most coveted label of all: most popular. People flocked to her as soon as Serena left.

_"So Blair, what are we doing tonight?"_

_"Blair! Party at my house on Friday! It's not a party unless you're there."_

_"I love your headbands Blair. They're so iconic."_

She couldn't deny that she was taken aback by all of the attention at first, but she quickly fell into the role. Constance Billard needed her, and she had every intention to keep it that way.

She'd stopped leaving Serena messages, replying to her occasional emails, or asking her mom when she'd return. Blair secretly wished that Serena wouldn't come back. She became out of sight and out of mind, even as Blair's own life was crumbling with her parents' scandalous split. Blair was still queen, and as long as that was fact she'd be okay.

However, for Blair, things didn't stay okay for long. That wretched Gossip Girl reported that Serena had returned, seeking Blair's friendship once again. Blair wasn't so eager to give up her power and held her breath for the longest time after Serena returned. She had no place in the role Blair was creating for herself, especially after finding out what _she_ had done before she left. Serena deserved to be exiled, but she had come back too kindly and willing to fall _behind_ Blair. Having an unspoken offer that Blair couldn't refuse, they became friends again and she was still queen. She couldn't ask for more.

Like Serena, Blair had made a mistake along the way, but Blair was born a fighter. She clawed her way back to the top because she refused to be anywhere else. Blair had tasted power, and it was precious, enticing and rightfully hers.

But now…..

As soon as Serena walked up to them, Blair felt it. The shift. While she had been busy fussing over what needed to be done with Marcus, Serena had snatched up her last bit of happiness. Her last bit of self assurance, it was gone now.

Blair noticed that things were slowly changing. Plaid headbands became vintage scarves. Christian Louboutin shoes morphed into various colored boots. Blair was quietly dethroned and Serena took her place.

"Well, look whose back on top. I wonder how that happened. Wait. Now that I think of it, I know _exactly_ how that happened," Chuck eagerly declared. Blair had stormed past him, not even bothering to utter a glare.

She took a deep breath once she was in an empty school corridor. She was so foolish for thinking she could be on top forever when _she_ was her best friend. Serena was a phoenix, born to rise again and Blair was born to be her shadow. They had gone full circle now and were back to playing their old roles, living their old lives. And that was the way it was meant to be.


End file.
